A Guide to Difficult Conversations with Staff

A Guide to Difficult Conversations with Staff

“Honest and direct conversations are so important and can provide the opportunity to resolve potential conflicts quickly and efficiently.”

One of the most recurring themes in our enquiries from doctors running private practices is advice on how to go about having the difficult conversations with their staff. Issues can vary widely from underperformance and conduct to behaviours and conflict, even the basics like responding to questions and declining staff requests.

Approaching difficult conversations can be the source of enormous stress. They can make us feel uncomfortable because we need to balance emotions and information in a sensitive way. However, they are important and a normal part of running a business. The best way to handle a difficult issue is to deal with it in a timely manner. Honest and direct conversations are so important and can provide the opportunity to resolve potential conflicts quickly and efficiently. By addressing issues head-on in a decisive but understanding way, we can improve relationships within our workplace and increase overall engagement.

Time and time again we see people avoiding the hard conversations and coming up with excuses or putting them off all together. Most issues won’t go away on their own and can often grow. This can have a real impact on team morale and performance, so it is in your best interest to identify and manage issues early on before they escalate.

Preparing for the conversation

It is important to be clear about what the problem or issue is and what you want to achieve from the conversation. It might be helpful to ask yourself, “Why do I need to have this chat and what is a realistic outcome?” The next step is to prepare and plan. Double check your facts and ensure that you have all the information you need to be able to have the conversation. You will need to be specific and detailed if you want to make sure that your message is clear.   Try to predict how your employee may react during the conversation. It might be hard to predict this but at least if you have given it some thought then you will be less likely to be caught unprepared. Think about the issue from the employee’s perspective and keep an open mind. Then make some notes and rehearse what you are planning to say. Conversations like this are always better if you can do them face-to-face and at a scheduled time, away from other people, interruptions and distractions. We wouldn’t recommend that you talk about difficult or problematic issues if you happen to bump into the employee, such as in the car park or when you are locking up. If the topic is particularly sensitive then you may like to book in a time to have your chat with the employee at the end of their workday, so they don’t have to continue working if they are distressed or upset.

During the conversation

Make sure that you describe the issue clearly and give examples or additional information if required. Focus on the issue and not the person. Give real life examples of how the issue may impact the running of the business or delivery of services to patients.

Do your best to keep the meeting non-confrontational and remain calm – people tend to react defensively and aggressively if they are feeling threatened, so it is your role to keep the tone of the meeting objective.  If the employee gets emotional and the discussion gets heated, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging their feelings and taking a break. You can say something along the lines of “I can see you are upset, how about we take a break, and we can reconvene in 15 mins or later in the day”.

Don’t feel that you have to talk all the time, sometimes a silent pause can be a good thing, as it helps you to collect your thoughts and allows the other person time to respond. Listen to what the employee has to say and keep returning to the specific issue if the meeting starts to go off track.

You may choose to acknowledge the employee’s contribution to the business and reassess your position on the issue. Has anything changed now that you have heard their side? Aim to look for solutions to the problem together and invite employees to make suggestions as well. The best resolutions involve an outcome that satisfies both parties.

Following up after the conversation

Finally, make sure you document what was discussed and any agreed actions and timeframes, so that you have it on record. You may need to refer to it later. Difficult conversations may not necessarily be wrapped up in the one meeting. Depending on the issue, you may need to have a follow up meeting with the employee. Even if no further meeting is required, you may want to check in with the employee in a few days and confirm the outcomes of the meeting. As always, the AMA (NSW) Workplace Relations team is here to help you. If you are feeling uncertain about how to address a matter with a member or members of staff, please contact our team at
workplace@amansw.com.au or on (02) 9439 8822.

Contributed by AMA (NSW)’s Senior Workplace Relations Advisor, Felicity Buckley